Why My Snakes Only Have Two Legs (And Why That's Not Negotiable)

The Question That Haunts My DMs: "Why don't they have four legs? Wouldn't that be easier for them?"

Listen. We need to talk. Because apparently some people think snakes with legs should have FOUR legs, and this fundamentally misses the entire point of everything I'm trying to do here.

The Science (Sort Of) Behind Two Legs: Four legs would make them lizards. Lizards are fine, but they're not snakes. Snakes with two legs are struggling through life with just enough limbs to attempt human activities but not enough to succeed gracefully. This is the entire comedy goldmine.

Think about it:

• Two legs = heroic attempts at normalcy, frequent failure, relatable struggle

• Four legs = basically functional, probably successful, definitely not as funny

The Evolutionary Story I Made Up: Once upon a time, some snakes looked at humans and thought, "That looks easy, we should try that walking thing." But evolution, being the chaotic force it is, gave them exactly two legs and called it a day. Not enough for proper coordination, too many to slither properly. Peak comedy territory.

Why Limitation Breeds Comedy: The best comedy comes from characters being just slightly under-equipped for their ambitions. Snakes with two legs can:

• Attempt to carry shopping (unsuccessfully)

• Try to use smartphones (chaos)

• Queue at coffee shops (wobbling)

• Ride bicycles (theoretically)

Four legs would solve too many problems. Two legs creates just enough capability to try, but not enough to succeed smoothly. This is where the magic lives.

The Tail Factor: "But what about hands?" they ask. That's what tails are for. Imagine trying to text, cook, or do literally anything using only your tail and feet. This is peak relatable content for anyone who's ever felt slightly unprepared for adult life.

Character Consistency Matters: Every snake in my universe has exactly two legs. No exceptions. No "special edition four-legged snake" (that's just a lizard with identity issues). No "armless snake" (that's just a regular snake who's given up). Two legs. Always. Forever.

This consistency is what makes them recognisable. When people see a snake with two legs, they should immediately think "ah yes, that's one of Beth's struggling serpents."

The Deeper Philosophy: Two legs represent all of us trying to navigate life with whatever tools we've been given, even when they're clearly inadequate for the task at hand. It's about perseverance in the face of obvious design flaws.

We're all just snakes with two legs, really. Attempting things we're not quite equipped for, doing our best with what we've got, and occasionally succeeding despite the odds.

Real Talk About Design Choices: When you're building a character-based brand, every design choice matters. The number of legs isn't arbitrary - it's the foundation of everything. Change that, and you change the entire personality and comedy potential of the concept.

Trust the process. Have fun, and make art that makes you laugh